 | Snowy,Flowy,Blowy, The Twelve Months. |
Ode to the English Language
Dearest creature in creation, Studying English pronunciation,
I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
It will keep you very busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
Tear in eye your hair will tear, So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Pray console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
Just compare heart, beard and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain, (Mind the latter, how it's written!)
Made has not the sound of bade, Say Ð said,pay - paid, laid, but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague,
But be careful how you speak, Say break, steak, but bleak and streak
Previous, precious; fushia, via; Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,
Cloven, oven; how and low; Script, receipt; shoe; poem, toe.
Hear me say devoid of trickery, Daughter; laughter and terpsichore,
Typhoid; measles; topsails; aisles, Exiles; similes; reviles,
Wholly; holly; signal; signing; Thames; examining; combining,
Scholar; vicar; and cigar, Solar; mica; war and far.
From 'desire': desirable Ð admirable from 'admire',
Lumber; plumber; bier but brier; Chatham; brougham; renown but known,
Knowledge; done, but gone and tone, One; anemone;
Balmoral, Kitchen; lichen; laundry; laurel, Gertrude; German; wind and mind,
Scene; Melpomene; mankind, Tortoise; turquoise; chamois-leather:
Reading; reading; heathen; heather.
This phonetic labyrinth, Gives moss; gross; brook; brooch; ninth; plinth,
Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet; wallet; mallet; chalet,
Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would.
Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which is said to rhyme with 'darky'.
Viscous; viscount; load and broad; Toward; to forward; to reward,
And your pronunciation's OK, When you say correctly croquet,
Rounded; wounded; grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend; alive and live;
Liberty; library; heave and heaven; Rachel; ache; moustache; eleven.
We say hallows. But allowed; People; leopard; towed. But vowed.
Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover; plover; Dover,
Leeches; breeches; wise; precise; Chalice; but police and lice.
Camel; constable; unstable; Principle; disciple; label;
Petal; penal and canal, Wait; surmise; plait; promise; pal.
Suit; suite; ruin; circuit; conduit, Rhyme with 'shirk it' and 'beyond it'.
But it is not hard to tell, Why it's pall, mall but not Pall Mall.
Muscle; muscular; gaol; iron; Timber; climber; bullion; lion,
Worm and storm; chaise; chaos; chair; Senator; spectator; mayor.
Ivy; privy; famous; clamour, And enamour rhyme with 'hammer'.
Pussy; hussy and possess, Desert but dessert; address.
Golf; wolf; countenance; lieutenants; Hoist, in lieu of flags, left pennants.
River; rival; tomb; bomb; comb, Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour.
Soul but foul and gaunt but aunt; Font; front; wont; want; grand and grant,
Shoes; goes; does, now say finger, And then singer; ginger; linger.
Real; zeal; mauve and gauge, Marriage; foliage; mirage; age.
Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost; lost; post and doth; loth; Job; job; blossom; bosom; oath.
Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual,
Seat; sweat; chaste; caste; Leigh; eight; height; Put; nut; granite, but unite.
Reefer does not rhyme with 'deafer', Feoffer does and zephyr; heifer.
Hint; pint; senate but sedate; Scenic; arabic; pacific;
Science; conscience; scientific; Tour but our and succour; four;
Gas and alas and Arkansas; Sea; idea; guinea; area;
Psalm; Maria but malaria; Youth; south; southern; cleanse and clean;
Doctrine; turpentine; marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion,
Sally with ally; yea; ye; Eye; I; ay; aye; whey; key; quay! Say aver but ever; fever.
Neither; leisure; skein; receiver. Never guess it is not safe;
We say calves; valves; half but Ralph, Heron; granary; canary;
Crevice and device and eyrie, Face but preface, but efface,
Phlegm; phlegmatic; ass; glass; bass; Large but target; gin; give; verging,
Ought; out; joust; and scour but scrounging; Ear but earn and wear and tear,
Do not rhyme with 'here' but 'ere'. Seven is right but so it even;
Hyphen; roughen; nephew; Stephen; Monkey; donkey; clerk and jerk;
Asp; grasp; wasp; and cork and work. Pronunciation Ð think of psyche,
Is a paling stout and spiky, Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing 'groats' and saying groats? It's a dark abyss or tunnel,
Strewn with stones, like rowlocks; gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight.
Housewife, verdict and indict, Don't you think so reader, rather, Saying lather; bather; father?
Finally: which rhymes with 'enough', Though; through; plough; cough; hough; or tough, Hiccough has the sound of 'cup',
My advice is give it up.
